早安!

早安!

来源 :如图

School joke

School joke

 

In class
Teacher:Max ,why are you down to day?
Max:because mum is in hospital and dad is at the police station..
Teacher:sorry dear do you want to go home?
Max:yess
Max,goes home and teacher ask the remaining pupils
Teacher:why is Max’s father at the police station and the mother in hospital?
Pupils:because his father is a policeman and the mother is a nurse
Teacher:stupid child! call him back!
😅😅

 

Unknown source

Dress code

Dress code

 

Unknown source

Random jokes

Random jokes

 

 

Smart answer by a female passenger on a flight…

A guy asked a beautiful lady sitting next to him…
‘Nice perfume…..which one is it?… I want to give it to my wife..!!’
Lady: ‘Don’t give her….some idiot will find an excuse to talk to her..!!’
❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌

A letter from a teacher to a parent:
Dear Parent,
Kamal doesn’t smell nice in class. Please try to bath him.

Parent’s answer:
Dear Teacher, Kamal is not a rose, Don’t smell him,Teach him ……
❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌

Mother to Son: Who is Sultan Aziz?
Son : Don’t know
Mother : Devote some time to pay attention to study also
Son to Mother : Do you know Aunty Yasmeen?
Mother : Don’t know
Son: Sometimes pay attention to Daddy also
❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌

A cute excuse:
Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: Mom & dad were fighting.
Teacher: So what makes you late if they were fighting?
Student: One of my shoes was in mom’s hand, and the other in dad’s..

❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌

Wife: I hate that beggar.
Husband: Why?
Wife: Rascal, yesterday I gave him food. Today he gave me a book on
“How to Cook !!!
❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌
Husband came home drunk. To avoid wife’s scolding, he took a laptop & started working.
Wife: Did u drink?????
Husband : no!
Wife: Idiot!!! then why are you typing on a suitcase?!!!

❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌

Don’t laugh alone. Pass it on to your buddies..

 

 

Unknown source

What bird

What bird

 

Unknown source

 

Stay safe

Stay safe

 

Fleming arms

Late

Late

 

unknown source

Pikachu

Pikachu

 

From reddit

减肥

减肥

不知来源

TANJOOBERRYMUTTS

😂👍
TANJOOBERRYMUTTS
🎋
By the time you read through this you will understand “TANJOOBERRYMUTTS”. Believe me… you WILL understand!!!

Here goes… The following is a telephonic exchange between a Hotel guest & room-service in China …

Room Service: “Morrin. Roon sirbees.”

Guest: “Sorry, I thought I dialled room-service.”

Room Service: “Rye, Roon sirbees… morrin! Joowish to oddor sunteen?”

Guest: “Uh… Yes, I’d like to order bacon & eggs.”

Room Service: “Ow ulai den?”

Guest: ” …….What?”

Room Service: “Ow ulai den?… Pryed, boyud, pochd?”

Guest: “Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry.. Scrambled, please.”

Room Service: “Ow ulai dee bayken? Creepse?”

Guest: “Crisp will be fine.”

Room Service: “Hokay. An sahn toes?”

Guest: “What?”

Room Service: “An toes. ulai sahn toes?”

Guest: “I…. Don’t think so..”

RoomService: “No? Udo wan sahn toes?”

Guest: “I feel really bad about this, but I don’t know what ‘udo wan sahn toes’ means.”

RoomService: “Toes! Toes!… Why Uoo don wan toes?… Ow bow anglish moppin we botter?”

Guest: “Oh, English muffin!! I’ve got it! You were saying ‘toast’… Fine…Yes, an English muffin will be fine.”

RoomService: “We botter?”

Guest: “No, just put the botter on the side.”

RoomService: “Wad?”

Guest: “I mean butter… Just put the butter on the side.”

RoomService: “Copy?”

Guest: “Excuse me?”

Room Service: “Copy.. tea… meel?”

Guest: “Yes. Coffee, please… And that’s everything.”

Room Service: “One Minnie. Scramah egg, creepse bayken, Anglish moppin, we botter on sigh & copy… Rye?”

Guest: “Whatever you say.”

Room Service: “Tanjooberrymutts.”

Guest: “You’re welcome”
Remember I did say “By the time you read through this… YOU WILL UNDERSTAND ‘TANJOOBERRYMUTTS’
😜😝😂

 

 

 

UNknown source